Looking for love or a money mule? Outsider’s not your man

7 August 2020
| By Outsider |
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Outsider is grateful to be alive and well and living in the Emerald City rather than in Melbourne but, apparently, his relative freedom of movement means that he is missing out on being targeted by romance scammers.

Yes, that’s right, apparently romance scammers have been targeting Melbourne on the basis that the Stage 4 restrictions have increased the numbers of lovelorn in that fair city, with the result that they are ripe for being parted from their money.

Outsider knows this because the Customer Owned Banking Association (COBA) has told him that romance scams have increased with the arrival of COVID-19 with the scammers looking for victims to act as ‘money mules’ moving stolen funds by using their bank account.

“Many unsuspecting Melburnians will welcome the opportunity for a warm conversation or just someone to chat with over the months ahead. But the reality is that the progression from chat to professing love and asking them for money or to help them move money is far quicker,” the COBA warning said.

Now Outsider is not what you’d call a lady’s man. He’s not even what you’d call a man’s man. He’s more what you’d describe as a balding, rotund wannabe bon vivant so he knows that when women call his number for a “warm conversation” something is clearly going to be up and probably not his bank balance.

No, for Outsider real romance is an open fire and a bottle of premium single malt. Women are OK, but they’re not as good as the real thing.

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